I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
