If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
