Need sex. Gaining weight.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
