your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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