just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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