Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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