I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize