its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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