my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
