Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
