think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
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I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
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When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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