just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
True but thats because hes a fetus.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
23 Cringeworthy Responses to “I Love You”
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
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The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.