i permit you to call me
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.