this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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