Porn is love you can see.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
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He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
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Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.