I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
