I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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