Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
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