I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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