I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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