we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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