return my video game
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
