Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
