Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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