you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
