Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
