so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
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i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
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You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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