I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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