see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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