4 words: hood of his car
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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