I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
