I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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