he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize