What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
