i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize