a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
