Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
vagina is talking i cant
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
