on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
