you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Sorry about my life...
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
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