Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Mom said you looked used
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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