I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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