But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
