I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
