In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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