so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Is that strawberry winking at me??
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
