you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
