is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
