I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Randomize
