I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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