did you get engaged???
It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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