I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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