shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
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