we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
You need a sexual gate keeper
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
