i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Did we literally take a cab across the street
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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