And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
