I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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