I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
