i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
