It's like God shit irony all over that family
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
