Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize