hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
